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Dec 28, 2011

The Ant and the Grasshopper


Two Different Morals

OLD VERSION 

The ant works
hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The 
grasshopper
thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the 
ant is warm
and well fed.

The 
grasshopper has
no food or shelter, so he
dies out in the cold.


MORAL OF THE OLD STORY:

Be responsible for yourself!


MODERN
VERSION

The 
ant works hard
in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter.

The 
grasshopper thinks the ant
is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering
grasshopper
calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving..

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN,
and ABC show up to
provide pictures of the shivering
grasshopper
next to a video of the ant
in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper
is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog
 appears
on 
Oprah
with the grasshopper
and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not EasyBeing Green...'

Occupy the Anthill stages
a demonstration in front of the
ant's
house where the news stations film the SEIU group singing, We shall overcome.

Then 
Rev. Jeremiah Wright
has the group kneel down to pray for the 
grasshopper's sake,
while he damns the ants.


President Obama
 
condems the ant
and blames
President Bush 43, President Bush 41, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the
Pope

for the 
grasshopper's
plight..

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid

exclaim in an interview with
Larry
King
 
that the ant has
gotten rich off the back of
 the
grasshopper,
and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the 
EEOC drafts
the
 Economic Equity &
Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of
the summer.

The 
ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number
of 
green bugs and,
having
 nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by theGovernment GreenCzar
and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the
grasshopper
and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house,
crumbles around them because the 
grasshopper doesn't maintain it.

The 
ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The 
grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken
over
 by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.

The entire 
Nation collapses
bringing the rest
of the free world with it.


MORAL OF THE STORY:



Be careful how you vote in 2012.

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